Being the Kind of Mom I Want to be.

The last few weeks have been a constant battle with Gunner over every little thing, and every little task. And on top of that, I've had to enforce the consequences day after day. Needless to say, I have been burnt out.

Our negative interactions were building and compounding and I was literally at my wits end. (Imagine me laying on my bed kicking and screaming like an actual three year old.) And Gunner was acting out even more because he had lost all of his special privileges. It had turned into quite an ugly little cycle. I cringe even typing this; I'm embarrassed to even admit it, but I just haven't liked him lately. I mean obviously I love him. but the fun and joy in our relationship were essentially gone.

I woke up like this...

I woke up early this morning. (It was almost 9, but everyone else was still asleep so that still counts as early right?) Anyways, I had had two distressing dreams. 

The first one was that I went to school with Gunner and no one would play with him on the playground. I was devastated. Why wouldn't anyone want to play with him? Was it because I was there? Was it because I hadn't raised him right? Was he mean to the other kids? Or was he too different? I woke up feeling this nasty little burden. I tossed and turned but finally fell back to sleep. 

Just My Gunner and Me.

Well,  D-day is just around the corner and I haven't blogged in months. I've been really busy trying to make the most of this time I have with Gunner. And I have to say, these last few months have been some of the sweetest. Gunner is growing and changing so much, I feel like I can barely keep up. I want to remember this time, when he is my only worry. My world revolves around only him. There's a part of me that doesn't want this chapter to end. I want to hang on to these moments of just the two of us as long as I can. So, I thought I'd write a few "quick" words about what life is like right now. Just my Gunner and me.